Thousands of Catholic teenage girls are ‘worried sick’ that Pope Francis will turn up late for his inauguration mass in Rome today. ‘Oh,my God,’ said Teresa Muldoon (14), ‘I just know he’s going to be late for his mass just like Justin was for his O2 concert. I just can’t go through waiting again like that. Me and my mates are worried sick.’
Teresa said she fears that Pope Francis might stop on his way to St Peter’s Square to talk to poor people or Robert Mugabe and leave her wondering if he’s going to make an appearance.
As a Catholic Belieber, Teresa says she is torn between her worship of Pope Francis and Justin, though she admits she finds the Pope slightly sexier. ‘But I haven’t heard him sing yet,’ she said, ‘ or Justin pray.’
Many Catholic girls are said not to have given up the hope that one day there will be a Pope Justin. ‘It would be the first Canadian pope ever,’ said Teresa. ‘And the first lapsed Catholic.’ Teresa added that she hoped the Pope would copy Justin by wearing low-slung trousers.
‘That would be another first for any pope and show he has the common touch,’ added Teresa’s mother Mary who said she was praying the Pope gets an audience as large as a Justin Bieber concert.
Vatican insiders are said to be aware of the massive popularity of Justin Bieber and are studying ways in which they might learn from him. ‘We’ve already got the celibacy and the whole ‘believing’ thing. So now Pope Francis might emulate Justin by trying to hit a press photographer. That really would endear him to millions of people across the globe.’