The Chancellor has today astounded critics by proposing that the City of Liverpool is to be forcibly given independence from the UK. He also unveiled a package of new jobs in the construction industry with a 20 mile wall to be built in the North West of England.
In his annual budget speech, George Osborne justified this bold proposal to revive the UK economy by explaining that unemployment would drop by 165,000 at a stroke, complemented by 40,000 vacancies in the construction and security sectors to establish and maintain the border. Visitors to Liverpool have been given until 31 March to leave.
The Chancellor noted that the loss of Liverpool’s comedians, such as Ken Dodd & John Bishop, and the self-reported musical heritage, would be a small, but necessary sacrifice. The Opposition Leader, currently Ed Miliband, accused the Chancellor of doing this just to get popular support, and said he would support the proposal only if Newcastle was included in the plan.