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West Korea avoids conflict with the North by pretending not to exist

Diplomats in the Republic of West Korea were being lauded last night after seventy years of peaceful coexistence with both the Southern Republic of Korea and the Northern People’s Democratic Republic, which outside observers put down to the nation’s hard work at hiding from everyone.

In 1950 the DPRK armies just rolled right past our easterly borders, not once wondering what lay behind the low hills towards the sea. The Americans pushed the North Koreans and Chinese back beyond the 51st parallel, but clever cartographic manipulation by the West meant that the borders of West Korea were never violated.

Even today most maps do not show the secretive nation, which spreads from near Incheon in the east to a long land border with Shandong province, China, in the west, instead showing an entirely fictional northern extension of the East-China Sea. Satellite images are often confused as houses and roads in the country are painted wet to simulate the sea and loose rocks are banned.

The President of West Korea, who isn’t widely known outside his anonymous homeland, and who didn’t give his name, has assured his people that his country would not get involved on either side if war sparked up between the North and the South, although he followed it up by admitting that his nation would possibly send forces to help either country if they decided to attack “the illegitmate rump leadership” of the Republic of East Korea.

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2013 by bonjonelson

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