A new business is hoping to exploit the ‘Oh, fuck, I’m broke and I don’t get paid till Friday’ sector of the ‘I’m holding down two jobs and I still can’t pay the sodding bills’ market. Chas Ablett, manager of Cash4Organs is confident that his new shop will meet the needs of customers who are cash-poor but organ-rich.
‘The people of Barnsley are struggling to make ends meet’, says Mr Ablett, ‘but at least they now have a choice. Selling internal organs may be a novelty to the people of South Yorkshire, but in the slums of Calcutta or the shanty towns of Rio de Janeiro it’s a familiar way of raising money for a new rickshaw or a life-saving operation for a much-loved family member’.
Mr Ablett was keen to stress the company’s ethical stance. ‘As a reputable company, we abide by the code of conduct of the Association of Loansharks, Pawnbrokers and other Legitimate Businessmen. We’re only interested in organs that people have two of. We may be leeches, but we’re not ghouls.’