Sixty-per cent of Glastonbury ticket holders will die before June

People who were unlucky in trying to buy tickets for this year’s Glastonbury Festival may get another chance – because sixty-per cent of those who got tickets are so old they are expected to die before June.

‘I’ve got my ticket to see the Stones,’ said Bernie Hulme (89) who used his winter fuel payment to buy the £205 ticket and who suspects his son Fred (69) has designs on it. ‘I’m just hoping I’ll still be around in June and the old rheumatism doesn’t see me off first. I’ll be ninety next year, you know.’

But life-long Stones fan Judith Long (92) said she has no worries about being alive in three months time.

‘I’ll be ninety-three next year, you know,’ she said,’and I expect to reach a hundred.

‘My only worry is Mick and the rest of the boys. They’re all knocking on a bit you know and I don’t want to turn up at Glastonbury just to listen to bleeding Billy Bragg in the mud.’

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Posted: Mar 30th, 2013 by

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