Amid rising tensions, North Korea has surprised the world by unveiling a state-of-the-art missile defence net. A bulletin – broadcast over state-run television news – boasted that the net will ‘allow the mighty DPRK to strike with merciless impunity against the traitorous South, and its cringingly insipid puppet-masters the United States.’
The net, fashioned from baling twine, along with copper strands from the regime’s long-disused power cables, is said to run from Nampho on the country’s East coast, all the way to Chunghwa County, roughly 22 miles from the country’s East coast. Satellite imaging suggests it may be up to 47 feet high.
Kim Jong-un called the shield ‘the final brick in the wall of our invincibility,’ going on to state that the West in all its ‘effete, shilly-shallying feebleness, will be smashed once and for all!’
Latest information, received via LSE agents, suggests the net had blown down, leaving the North relying solely on its anti-mustard-gas picket fence.