In a victory for the UK, the European Court has upheld the right of British citizens to bitch endlessly about politicians from all parties.
The Grand Chamber of the Strasbourg court delivered its verdict after a case brought by an unnamed Chancellor of the Exchequer, who argued that allowing people free speech to moan about their leaders, especially the incompetent ones in charge of the money, was a serious infringement of his right to a peaceful night’s sleep untroubled by the murmur of venomous hatred for him from across the nation.
‘We recognise that in most European nations, such as Sweden or Luxembourg, there is no need to bitch about politicians because they are mostly very dull,’ the Court said in its judgement. ‘But the British people are saddled with those unbearable posh Tory bastards lording it over them. They’ve got little enough going for them without us stopping them from bitching about their leaders in the vain hope it’ll make them feel better about things. Case dismissed. That’ll give the Anonymous Plaintiff something to cry about next time he’s at a televised ceremonial funeral.’