Royal Bank of Scotland, 65% owned by UK taxpayers, is to be sold to the online gambling organisation Betfred.com, it has been announced. The exact details of the deal are yet to be revealed, but it is understood that only a nominal payment will be made to ‘take it off your hands, gov.’
A Betfred spokesman was keen to point out the obvious similarities in the way the businesses operated . ‘RBS is a natural fit for Betfred’s business model,’ she said. ‘Every transaction provides immense excitement and is a huge gamble – you never know if you will get your money back. RBS did bet on one particular Fred many years ago and lost, but this time we’re pretty confident they’re onto a winner. Rather than a shyster.’
RBS had been known to be in talks with rival betting firm Coral after former HBOS director Andy Hornby took the helm there and wanted to discuss ‘synergy’ and ‘aligning market offerings for maximum customer loyalty benefit’, but even RBS couldn’t take any more management bullshit from him so looked around for another partner who was good at their core business of taking money off naive punters.
In other news, Lloyds Bank have announced that after the deal with the Co-op fell through they are to sell their branches to FoxyBingo.com.