The ever-popular Chancellor, George Osborne, has led a wave of national jubilation after the wonderful news emerged that the UK has avoided a triple-dip recession.
‘The British people are rightly delighted by the joyous news that my economic policy or policies are approaching the verge of being almost successful,’ Mr Osborne told MPs. ‘Move over Judi Dench and Victoria Wood, there’s a new national treasure on the block – and it’s me!’
Aides close to the Chancellor say he is expecting to back public calls for a national service of thanksgiving at St Paul’s together with an annual George Osborne Day public holiday.
A Downing Street aide appeared to support the plans. ‘We can’t think of a better way of commemorating the sterling work of this greatest of Chancellors than holding a service at which everybody in the congregation sits crying in the pews, while outside the banks are closed.’