Operation Yewtree ‘A complex police conspiracy to end repeats’ claims UK Gold

Purveyors of recycled, mawkish, shit balls UK GOLD has admitted that operation Yewtree has left its schedule more barren than usual.

An unnamed bottom TV exec admitted that at the current rate of noncery they would be forced to play a single excerpt from Last of the Summer Wine that features two policemen sitting in their car eating sandwiches and moaning about their wives on a constant loop for the remainder of the year, although the channel was quick to ensure viewers that programming would still be punctuated by the usual shit adverts for no win no fee claims, pay day loans and Febreze.

‘We basically looked through the schedule and realised it would probably be quicker just to assume that every male actor, is, was or will be charged with kiddy fiddling’

Any remaining gap in the schedules will be filled with a testcard playing the theme tune from Z Cars, although even this may now be in jeopardy as it was revealed the testcard clown has been brought in for questioning.


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Posted: May 4th, 2013 by

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