Friends of Simon Bravo, a man dying of cancer, have been left reeling after he did a thing without any pathos,
Close friend of Simon Glen Patterson said: ‘He’s dying. We all know it. He’s only got weeks left to live. Possibly days. There should, at the very least, be a tinge of sadness to everything he does no matter how inconsequential.’
Bravo, however defended the thing, which can’t be named for legal reason, as ‘completely innocuous’. ‘It was completely innocuous’ he insisted.
Since Bravo did the thing his wife, Sarah Bravo, has moved out and taken the children with her. A close friend of hers said: ‘She’s distraught. Not only is her husband and the father of her children dying of cancer but he had done a thing in which it is impossible to see any tragedy or feel sorrow.’
Mr Bravo has confirmed he is trying to win his wife back by taking part in pity inducing activities. ‘I took my daughter to the swing park for possibly the last time’ he explained. ‘That’s loaded with suffering. I also treated Sarah and myself to a Marks and Spencer’s Meal for Two for £10. Pathos right there. And I deliberately chose chocolate cakes as the dessert because I know Sarah doesn’t like them. They’ll now sit in the fridge until well after I’m dead. That’s not just pathos today, that’s pathos for the next three months, possibly longer if Sarah ignores the best before date.’