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John Humphrys wins Celebrity Masterchef with grilling technique

Today programme presenter John Humphrys has been crowned the surprise winner of this year’s Celebrity Masterchef. Humphrys won over the judges with a breakfast menu that included the Director General of the BBC sliced and diced, then served on a platter.

Humphrys was inspired in the kitchen by U.S. breakfasts, where politicians gorge on pork barrel and senatorial waffle, washed down by Kool-aid. He had to battle through from 50 contestants to reach the final three despite being accused by Jonathan Aitken in the earlier rounds of ‘poisoning the well of democratic debate’ with a rather disappointing vanilla chocolate panna cotta.

Humphrys was pleasantly surprised with his final dish. ‘You normally expect some duck and occasionally dive when preparing George Entwistle. Instead we got a meal with grace and elegance,’ he said after his win.

Discussing his triumphant culinary technique, Humphrys revealed that the first stage is to tenderise the Entwistle. ‘Let the tabloids give him a frenzied hammering. Wait until he looks bloodied. Then, you season – oiling him up with some lovely soft questions, allowing him to caramelise himself a little bit.

‘But you have to be careful not to puncture him too early, so that you can finally go in and beat him to a bloody reduction until the final bits of the gristly career just sort of boil away into nothing.’

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Posted: May 15th, 2013 by Wrenfoe

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