The Met Office today reiterated its warning that holding your head up high when you walk through a storm is ‘bad advice’, as Liverpool Football Club faces compensation claims from tens of fans for chapped ears, stinging eyes, and destroyed hairdos.
Met Office Spokesperson Fiona Moffatt said: ‘Our detailed computer modelling, together with anecdotal evidence, shows that whilst walking on through the wind and walking on through the rain is not dangerous in itself, it should only be undertaken when wearing adequate protective clothing and using a sturdy umbrella.’
Liverpool FC strenuously denied responsibility for its supporters’ recklessness in the face of meteorological inclemency. ‘When we were sued last year by the bloke falling down the manhole cover, we proved that not being afraid of the dark is completely different to taking reasonable precautions in the dark,’ said a spokesman. ‘But we do advise that you should never walk alone after midnight, and stay safe indoors until you see the golden sky and hear the sweet silver song of the lark. Luis Suarez is out there somewhere. And he’s hungry.’