Homeless, penniless Abigail Pike, 74, was facing a bleak future until the kind-hearted felines took pity on her and decided to take her under their collective paws. After renovating a long-abandoned bungalow the moggies set about catering to Abigail’s every whim, refurbishing her wardrobe, teaching her computer skills and enrolling her in the Open University. ‘They spoil me rotten’, says a delighted Abigail.
The thirty six cats had considered all sorts of options when considering adopting; professional young males, married couples with young children, students house-shares. ‘In the end, the lonely old lady just felt like the best fit’ said a spokesman for the cats.’
However care of the old lady is being shared; in the morning she is looked after by about a hundred crows who keep her entertained by eating the whole loaves of stale sliced bread that she throws at them in the park. ‘Sometimes we let the pigeons look after her instead’ said one of the crows, ‘but either way, she gets to dump loads of bread everywhere and watch us flap about and fight over it for her amusement.’
Reports of an over-powering, offensive smell coming from the residence of the thirty-six cats are currently being investigated by the local council. ‘For god’s sake..’ said one of the cats, ‘she’s 86, what did you expect?’