Education chiefs in the North East have awarded pub chain JD Wetherspoon a contract to provide up to twenty thousand children their daily school dinners, in a move that has angered child health campaigners. The news comes hot on the heels of new contracts for the provision of mini-bars in all British Airways cockpits and the highly controversial reefer lounges in Church of England naves.
‘We’re over the moon to have the nutritional welfare of so many placed in our palms’ stated PS Aldernatch, JD Wetherspoon spokesman. ‘Not only will children now be offered a well balanced meal delivering their 5-a-day, but they’ll also qualify for a free pint of beer with every turkey twizzler meal. They can also benefit from Curry Wednesdays and an international lager festival featuring some of the strongest, lowest priced lagers from Eastern Europe.’
Aldernatch denied that their offering contravenes laws prohibiting sale of alcohol to minors. ‘We’re only offering the liquid refreshments to kids on free school meals’ he insisted, although he did later admit ‘Here in the North East, that’s pretty much all of them.’