Lots of highly-paid tennis experts have concluded that Rafael Nadal is ‘quite good’ at tennis after winning his eighth French Open title.
‘He seemed to beat the others,’ concluded one former British Number 1 (World Number 895). ‘That has a lot to do with winning,’ he revealed.
Others rushed to agree. ‘He won the final,’ said a British woman who never got beyond the first round in anything. ‘And that can often mean that you’ve won the tournament – though I never did, of course.’
‘When I was playing, which obviously wasn’t for very long,’ said another superannuated British player who these days has to make appalling adverts to make ends meet, ‘I noticed that someone kept playing until they gave him a cup, at which point he stopped playing and looked happy. If only we could find out his secret.’
Following Nadal’s win, and in preparation for Wimbledon, people have begun speculating much earlier than usual this year on what Andy Murray’s nationality will be in July.