Police to trial hashtags as crowd control weapon

Surrey Police have begun trialling hashtags as a crowd dispersal tool after their use was found to quickly clear the room at dinner parties held by Chief Inspector Dripplewhip and his wife.

‘When my wife Sonia started to drop hashtags into her ordinary dinner party conversation, I noticed the incredible effect it had on breaking up and dispersing the guests,’ CI Dripplewhip explained. ‘I started to wonder whether the concept would have applications elsewhere.’

‘Hashtag OpportunityTooGoodToMiss,’ chipped in Sonia. ‘So straightaway we came up with this hashtag GeniusIdea, you see. Street full of riot police. Other end, bunch of unsavouries. Hashtag MobRule. So hashtag DapperLookingHubby (hashtag MenInUniformAreSoSexy) gets on the loudhailer. Haven’t you lot got hashtag HomesToGoTo, he says. We’re all looking forward to our hashtag SundayLieIn, followed by hashtag NomNom SundayRoast hashtag With AllTheTrimmings, so why don’t you lot all hashtag PissOffHome and get a hashtag GoodNightsSleep?’

‘Hashtag WorkedATreat,’ added @ChiefInspector Dripplewhip of #SurreyBoysInBlue.

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Posted: Jun 11th, 2013 by

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