Martin Nunn, head of HMRC’s Corporate Tax division, today responded to criticism about HMRC’s lack of action against Google, who yet again have not paid any tax.
At a press conference today, Mr Nunn defended HMRC. ‘We have gone into this extremely thoroughly,’ he said. ‘My PA Kylie has went on the internet to conduct a comprehensive investigation of Google’s tax affairs. She typed ‘Google’s taxes’ into Google, and it came back with the answer that they don’t owe any taxes, and would we like to go out with them to a huge lunch and watch the men’s finals at Wimbledon.
‘We are therefore satisfied that Google don’t owe us anything, and the strawberries and cream should be delicious.’
‘However, we are pleased to report that we are taking aggressive legal action against a disabled lady who has sold a jumper she knitted without declaring this as income,’ Mr Nunn confirmed, showing how efficient HMRC can be if it wants to.