Prince of Wales to be scrapped in funding review

now seeking a loan from the Bank of Mum and Dad

After a funding review, the Government today announced plans for Prince Charles to be scrapped by 2017, and in addition, for Prince Edward, the Earl of Wessex, to be ‘mothballed’ for a decade, or longer.

Critics have labeled the move as ‘dangerous’ and ‘reckless’, pointing out that aside from the Queen, it leaves only two senior Royals, William and Harry, operational at any one time. With Harry often on duty on the front-ish line in Afghanistan, this will leave Britain dangerously exposed at garden parties, museum openings, and other ceremonial occasions.

Prince Edward has been described as being put on ‘extended readiness’, which effectively means that he will be stashed away in low maintenance storage until he can be sold to an overseas buyer when the market in Royals picks up again, probably in 2023. The French are said to be the likeliest bidder, as they don’t possess a Royal; not even one with few practical uses, or a sense of purpose.

This follows the already stringent cuts to Britain’s royal operational capabilities. Princess Anne, The Princess Royal, was broken up for parts in 2009. In a move which saved many millions; her royal duties are now performed by a carefully dressed horse.

In an associated move, Camilla Parker Bowles, the Duchess of Cornwall, will be replaced by a haughty doppelganger, and she and the Prince of Wales will be transported for disposal to either France or Germany. Compared to the UK, both countries have the far greater experience, skills and equipment necessary to decommission senior members of a Royal family.

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Posted: Jun 15th, 2013 by

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