Programmes infest BBC’s new £1bn London HQ

A public health concern has been raised after BBC staff  reported witnessing TV programmes being produced in the BBC’s new central London studios at Broadcasting House.

‘We thought all that nonsense had finished when Television Centre was closed at the end of March,’ one insider is quoted as saying.

The nasty business of actually making programmes had thought to have been moved as far from London as most London-based BBC staff could imagine. ‘We chose Salford because it was far enough away that the programmes would never be able to find their way back to London, but it seems we were wrong. It’s not as though we could have gone any further north, is it? What do you mean, “Scotland”?’

A BBC spokesman promised to look into the claims. ‘We’re moving forward now, building shiny new London headquarters, setting up advisory boards and giving employment to think-tanks and consultancy companies, so it’s highly unlikely that we’re actually seeing any programmes getting in the way of our core business.’

If an infestation is confirmed, it will be particularly embarrassing for the Queen, who inspected Broadcasting House earlier this month and gave it a clean bill of health. ‘She even swept through the newsroom herself to make sure we weren’t informing, educating or entertaining anybody,’ said the spokesman. ‘We told her we’d not done that for a long time.’

An official memo has warned staff not to leave scripts or ‘programme ideas’ lying around and to clear desks when leaving the office. ‘We don’t need that sort of thing polluting the clean lines of our desks in a new, invigorated and profitable BBC,’ explained the Corporation’s Director-General-in-waiting, James Murdoch.


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Posted: Jun 19th, 2013 by

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