Texas celebrates traditional values after reaching 500th execution

Texans are revelling in a capital punishment landmark after cementing their place at the top of the leader board for number of executions per state.

‘The data shows we are by far the nationwide leader in terms of killing our own citizens, and that’s something every true Texan can be proud of,’ said Bill Delacroix, an execution promoter from Huntsville.

Although some Texans have refused to get into the celebratory mood, but Delacroix is quick to defend the state’s official pastime.

‘You’ll always get party-poopers. We just try to ignore them. It’s important to keep in mind that we don’t execute people for no reason; all of these people have broken the law, be it mincing in a public place or being openly left-wing. Ultimately, it’s important we uphold the proud Southern traditions this great state was founded on.’

Delacroix and pro-execution groups have had a triumphant week after also organizing a mass line-dance in the ashes of a bombed abortion clinic only a few days earlier. ‘The idea of killing a human being inside the womb sickens me,’ he said.

Kirby Muxloe

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Posted: Jun 30th, 2013 by

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