The prime minister David Cameron has suggested that, after Abu Qatada’s deportion and now Andy Murray’s Wimbledon victory, the United Kingdom has completed everything that was left to do and can now pack up and go home.
‘Well I think that’s pretty much it,’ Mr Cameron said after Murray’s win brought to an end 77 years of quoting exactly how long it has been since the last British men’s Wimbledon champion. ‘Now that Abu Qatada is out of our hair as well, I think we can all say job done. Of course you could quibble over this Europe referendum business and house prices and Rupert Murdoch still being rich and not in prison, but that’s all just loose ends, isn’t it?
‘No, I think on the whole the United Kingdom can say its work here is done, so let’s all think about disbanding and getting on with our lives. At least, that’s what Alex Salmond was saying to me at Wimbledon yesterday.’
Mr Cameron scorned those who felt that he ‘lacked ambition’ for the future of the country. ‘We can’t go on forever with no outcome,’ he said. ‘If this was a video game we’d now have to defeat some domineering, soulless, evil boss-monster with no conscience who kept trying to destroy us before we could level up and do it all over again. What are you looking at me like that for?’