William rules out ‘Vindaloo and shag’ option for inducing future monarch

The Gynaecologist Royal Dr Sir Mark Smedhurst was rebuffed today after suggesting the time honoured solution of a blistering hot curry and a vigorous seeing to as a way of hastening much-awaited events in the Royal Household.

Known among obstetricians as the Indian Hope Trick, the treatment is recommended for being simple and requiring little in the way of drugs.

‘With a free poppadom and Pepsi offer at the Kama Sutra Curry House, Victoria Street, just half a mile from the Palace, this would seem a logical and cost effective solution,’ said a spokesperson for the Royal College of Midwives. But it’s understood Prince William has his heart set on ‘noodles and a hand job’ this evening.


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Posted: Jul 18th, 2013 by

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