Internet speed ‘slugged’ in West Country to match slow pace of life

In response to customer requests, a Super-Slow Broadband internet service is being rolled out in Somerset, Devon and Cornwall. The advanced technology system recognises the speed at which the local population get things done and adapts response times accordingly.

In addition, some standard IT capabilities such as Instant Messaging are disabled completely as they are considered ‘far too frantic’ for those people accustomed to waiting four days for a first class letter to reach a village six miles away.

‘We’re not impatient like them city folk and we likes this new approach,’ explained Seth Hewlett of Mudford Peverington in South Somerset, where the local bus runs every second Wednesday except in lambing season when the driver helps out on the family farm. ‘We don’t need none of that fancy fibre-optic broadband here in Mudford Peverington, we haven’t got mains gas yet,’ he added.

Several major companies have also recognised the desire for a slower pace of service and amended their websites accordingly. For example, each banking transaction on the West Country version of the NatWest Bank is now preceded by an on-line discussion about the weather, how the garden’s looking lovely at the moment and the sadly failing health of Mrs Roberts at number 27. As a result, it can easily take half a day to pay a bill online. ‘It’s almost like popping into our old Post Office before they closed it,’ explained Mr Hewlett.

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2013 by

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