A team of boffins in a Human Resources lab claims it has created the perfect advert to screen out almost all normal people and attract a 99 per cent pure audience of bullshitters, deluded chancers and would-be Apprentices to Alan Sugar.
‘The advert uses techniques we’ve honed over the last 10 years,’ said a spokesman. ‘It asks for an inappropriately vast range of skills, experience and personal qualities that are far beyond the realm of most normal people, while offering miserly pay and conditions. The effect is to dissuade all level-headed people from applying.’
In tests the advert left half of potential respondents feeling intimidated because they lack the qualifications for the job, while the other half will feel that, given the range of skills and experience they have, they could be doing something far more ambitious, like particle physics or brain surgery.
‘By combining these two effects we’ve found the perfect formula for screening out all those who display symptoms of sanity and self awareness, leaving only a roomful of bullshitters, back stabbers and sociopaths.’
The company is nevertheless hopeful it will find the right candidate to become its new HR Director.