It was revealed today that the NHS has sold Stafford Hospital to Dignitas for an undisclosed sum.
‘This is great news for us,’ said a spokesman for Dignitas. ‘We just put Dignitas stickers over anything which says NHS Stafford, but otherwise everything else stays exactly the same. The staff costs are very small because there aren’t any staff – except for lots of managers which we’ll keep. They’ve helped make the hospital the place it is today and we wouldn’t want to lose that expertise.’
Dignitas patients at Stafford Hospital will now have a number of options for how they say goodbye to the world. ‘They could be abandoned on a trolley in a corridor, receive dangerously flawed surgery or contract MRSA through clinical negligence. We wanted to stick to what works.’