Caroline Lucas MP, former leader of the Green Party, has been spotted in the West Sussex area flagrantly acting in accordance with her stated principles. Law enforcement officials have warned members of the public to avoid contact with her.
‘Ms Lucas has been reported flashing her values for all to see,’ said a spokesman for Sussex constabulary. ‘This is a clear attempt to expose the young and impressionable to the concept of duty, solidarity and lentil soup. Clearly she must be stopped.’
Prime Minister David Cameron applauded the emergency services, while Ed Milliband was quick to disagree with the PM by agreeing with him, but in a slightly nasal manner. A Labour spokesman added: ‘Caroline Lucas has the luxury of principles, standing up for them and getting arrested, whereas Mr Milliband is in the serious business of not offending anyone.’