Following his administration’s assessment that Syria’s government has almost certainly used chemical weapons and so crossed the ‘red line’ President Obama set out last year, the White house has today announced a series of new lines in different colours and urged Syria not to cross them either.
“Okaaaay,” said Obama, “the red one not enough for you, huh? Well here’s a green one, and a pink one, and a blue one, and a yellow one, and they’re all made out of ticky-tacky. We have laid down these lines, and I warn Syria that crossing them will have very serious consequences. Because there will then be a purple line, a turquoise line, an orange line with black stripes around it and I still have a couple of other coloured pens in my pencil case. I urge the Syrians not to make me fetch it.”
But Obama cautioned that America’s patience had its limits; ‘Don’t make us go through all the colours of the spectrum and have to go back to red again,’ warned Obama, ‘that really would be it!’