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Fans want Hans Blix to tour ‘one last time’

An online campaign has begun to persuade the once great ‘weapons inspector’ and hugely talented musician, Hans Blix, to return for a final, farewell gig in Syria. The Swedish diplomat is famed for successfully integrating his art with his work, sniffing out weapons of mass destruction then singing about it in such classics as ‘Love Bomb’, the gangster rap ‘WMD OMG’ and the haunting madrigal ‘You lying sack of sh*t, Mr Blair’.

Fans agree that the chemical attacks near Damascus are the perfect vehicle for a Blix ‘Come Back’. His agent did nothing to dispel the rumours, saying: ‘Iraq, Pakistan, Syria…where ever there are neurotoxins, plutonium or bodacious tunes – Hans will be there.’

A new generation of teenage fans, or ‘Blixers’ as they are known, have been frantically tweeting about the clarity that only Blix is able to truly bring to the young on matters of such importance to the world, in a way not even Harry from 1-D can.

While most agree that no UN inspection team ‘without the B-myster’ can really cut it, Blix is not without his detractors. The Bush Administration was very critical of his ‘Iraqi Prog-Rock’ years and accused the Swede of taking ‘hallucinogens’. Ironically Blixers see that period as his most experimental yet creative, pointing towards tracks like ‘Colin Powell spells love, not Colon’, ‘You broke my heart when you blew up Chernobyl’ and the nine minute mix of natural harmonics and Rick Wakeman keyboards – ‘George. If you think they have WMD, you might want to check your ledger’.

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Posted: Aug 29th, 2013 by Wrenfoe

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