Microsoft buys Betamax

Microsoft has bought Betamax, hoping to steal a march on more successful rivals such as Apple and Samsung. Having dismissed the internet as ‘a passing fad’, and countered the threat of tablet computers by putting wheels on a PC, Steve Ballmer, Microsoft’s CEO, is keen to get the company back on track.

‘Betamax is a perfect match for the company’s aspirations, as we move towards the end of the 20th century’, Ballmer gushed at yesterday’s press reception. ‘Everybody’s into ‘retro’ these days. Hell, Betamax was good enough for us, when we were kids, and it’ll be good enough for the kids of today.’

When asked whether Microsoft was a backward looking company, out of touch with current trends, whose great days were in the distant past, Ballmer went into his now familiar ‘dad dance’. ‘Eat your heart out, Steve Jobs’, he yelled. ‘We’re back, baby, we’re back!’

Tripod

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Posted: Sep 4th, 2013 by

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