Discovery of Damascus gay-scene forces Putin to reconsider Syria options

Opinions in the Kremlin have dramatically shifted today following the discovery of a ‘thriving gay-scene’ on the outskirts of Syria’s capital Damascus, forcing Putin to ‘strongly reconsider’ his stance on military action in the country.

US president Barack Obama, who presented the findings of the gay community in a 500-page dossier during a heated one-to-one discussion with the Russian leader, is said to be ‘pleased and relieved’, as Putin concluded the two-hour debate by saying, ‘why didn’t you tell me this sooner? This changes things’.

The dossier, which detailed the existence of ‘at least three gay bars’ and even an ‘annual gay rodeo and pride parade’, was said to have been presented by Obama as a ‘last ditch effort’ to make headway with the Russians over the complex situation, as the G20 summit came to a head.

When quizzed about his conflicting opinions on the issue, in particular his earlier statement claiming a UN strike would ‘destabilize the region and cause widespread hardship for the people of Syria’, Putin said, ‘I still firmly believe this to be the case. The difference is that I now have a reason not to feel guilty about it’.

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Posted: Sep 8th, 2013 by

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