Iain Duncan Smith has vowed to free young lovers from the ‘overwhelming administrative burden’ of modern relationships, in a speech at the Conservative Party conference in Manchester.
‘Labour oversaw a huge rise in the number of administrative irks and obligations that hardworking young lovers must comply with,’ Mr Duncan Smith said. ‘They have to assign ‘relationship statuses’ on Facebook, whilst also keeping their friends updated with a series of tweets and/or Instagram posts detailing their feelings and most menial interactions. Meanwhile they have to blog about their hopes and aspirations for the relationship, browse Pinterest for some unachievably ambitious home-made Valentine’s Day gifts for next year, plan Google+ hangouts with their partner and engage in scrobbling each other through Last.fm, at the same time as maintaining a constant feed of pictures of them and their partner looking cute together to be uploaded on various different platforms. It’s the nanny state gone berserk.’
Duncan Smith claimed that many young couples have not seen each other for months due to the rigorous task of keeping their social media updated about the relationship, at which point many such couples find their relationship status has changed inexorably to ‘it’s complicated’.