Luke Skywalker censures Daily Mail for slur against his father

the farce is strong with this one

The controversy surrounding the freedom of the press took another sinister turn this morning after a tabloid article suggested that the popularity of yet another much-loved celebrity might have been misplaced, and urged the public to take another good, hard look at his dad.

Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker has escalated the situation, threatening legal action against the Daily Mail for what he alleges are ‘pejorative’ and ‘slanderous’ representations of his late father, Darth Vader.

‘My father was a decorated war veteran who fought hard for this galaxy,’ claimed Skywalker (age dependent on where you are in the franchise). ‘The side that he fought on is immaterial. He was a man who’d cut off his arm for you. Or mine.’

In an article called “The Sith Lord who hated Alderaan”, the Mail contends that Vader was a maniacal megalomaniac who was hell-bent on the destruction of the known universe.

‘I think it was his wardrobe,’ said Luke, drawing attention to his father’s prolific history of charity fun runs. ‘With hindsight, perhaps the black cloak and sinister breathing apparatus were less “hey, I’m just your average Jedi seeking redemption” and more, “I can kill you with a glove”.

‘Calling his ride the Death Star was probably something of a misnomer too. Privately, he nicknamed her “Betty”,’ he unconvincingly mitigated.

But Mail editor Paul Dacre has been surprisingly recalcitrant over the furore, refusing either to issue an apology, nor comment publicly on the matter. A holographic communication has been sent from the Daily Mail offices, but the content was unclear, due to both signal disruptions obscuring the message and the appearance of Dacre apparently shrouded in a large black robe.

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Posted: Oct 9th, 2013 by

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