Man reckons he wouldn’t mind waking up as a gigantic insect

Retired supermarket worker Gregory Smith claims that he wouldn’t be unduly perturbed if one morning he woke up to discover he’d metamorphosed into a gigantic insect.

‘I can’t see it being a problem,’ he said, brushing off any potential anxiety regarding the notional Kafkaesque eventuality. ‘A change is as good as a rest, as they say, though I think I’ll pass on turning into a cockroach.’

He admits that ‘initially it might come as a shock to the wife as she doesn’t like creepy-crawlies’, but says he believes she’d soon adapt as she has done to his beard.

Mr Smith believes the metamorphosis would solve his current neighbour problem.

‘If a gigantic insect appeared on my doorstep and complained about loud music, I’d soon turn it down ‘ he said, ‘especially if they’d had one spliff too many – they’d run away screaming.’

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Posted: Oct 10th, 2013 by

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