Maddie cops ‘nothing to do with guns, whips, hacking or dead newspaper vendors’

Detectives working on the newly launched Madeleine McCann investigation have been selected because they are ‘are nothing like’ other police in the news at the moment, Gerald Smith of the Police Federation told a news conference.

‘The Maddie guys have all been hand-picked and media trained to be typical every day coppers – clean shaven, square jawed blue eyed Christian family men who never sexually took advantage of witnesses, killed newsvendors, colluded with corrupt journalists, appeared to make up stories about prominent politicians or lied about multiple deaths at football matches. Not to mention Savile. Or guns in odd places. Which I hope you won’t, in this context. In fact we want coverage to concentrate on the fact that the Maddie guys are all upstanding good guys of the highest calibre, so you forget all the stuff about…well, you know. We’re determined to find out where the police’s lost reputation might be, and we need the public’s help.’

Later police circulated e-fit pictures of George Clooney, to demonstrate ‘what a typical British detective on the McCann case might look like’.


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Posted: Oct 17th, 2013 by

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