Police to publish e-fit pictures of MP’s missing breasts

The police are to circulate e-fit pictures of images of a pair of breasts allegedly once belonging to a prominent MP which are now the subject of a frantic global search.

The breasts, thought to be in their mid thirties, were initially photographed – possibly unlawfully – when the MP was a teenager. “Other persons are looking for the originals, and they may have criminal intent, so naturally we are desperate to get our hands on them before the criminals do,” said Inspector Jean Jones of the Metropolitan police at a well attended press conference aimed at restoring public faith in the Metropolitan Police’s ability to distract attention from other arguably more serious matters.

“That is why we are releasing realistic pictures of what we think the images of the breasts may look like. They were created by a specialist team of police artists and photographers after weeks of forensic work and extensive research and we want as many people to see them as possible,” she added. “If you’re a tabloid journalist and you’re offered pictures of what purport to be the breasts we are looking for, we ask you to please let us know, and write about it at great length. And if you have seen the real breasts in question, and can match them up with our mock ups, then it’s just a matter of putting two and two together.”

Vowing to keep the name of the MP, Gloria de Piero, confidential, Inspector Jones added; “These breasts are at the centre of difficult and ongoing inquiries and they are being handled with the utmost sensitivity.”

Shortly after the announcement, another MP said she too was inappropriately photographed, this time while appearing on an un named TV reality show. She said that a picture of her could also become the focus of blackmail. Police are now looking into whether this picture is “a stunt”.


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Posted: Oct 18th, 2013 by

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