The Waitrose shoppers of Buckingham have been faced with a truly daunting moral dilemma this week, as they vote whether the shop should pledge money towards Cancer Research UK or the local swimming club.
‘It’s a tough one,’ admits Leah, a local who confirmed she was saving her tokens up until she was confident on her decision. ‘I mean, on the one hand you think ‘obviously the swimming club!’ But then, I’ve started hearing some pretty bad stuff about cancer, and it does seem like something we ought to nip in the bud’.
Local Swimmers fear a smear campaign from the smear campaign, as cancer attempts siphon funds from deserving local causes. ‘It’s happened before,’ said one concerned shopper. ‘The Scouts would have had their hut re-painted by now if it wasn’t for those Syrian refugees, whining about starvation’.