Leaving collection culture is getting out of hand, according to a survey of dogs who have complained about having to constantly put their signature bottom smell on greetings cards for ever more tenuous reasons.
‘Once it was only when a long-standing pack member was leaving,’ said Monty, a border terrier. ‘These days, the plain brown envelopes come round to celebrate the birth of a colleague’s puppies, a successful de-worming and even a new basket. I’m fed up with having to cock my leg to congratulate some bitch I barely know.’
With dogs struggling to ‘come up with something’ instantly, too many leaving cards are meaningless documents, full of bland smells, according to Molly, a Cockerpoo who recently left Battersea Dog’s Home. In some cases, she added, passive aggression is creeping in. ‘When dogs talk out their arse, it’s not always nice,’ she added.