With Manchester United making an unprecedentely poor start to the season, beleagured new manager David Moyes has vowed to expand the squad during the January transfer window. And the player that fans are talking about – particularly the fans of other clubs – is German international, Helmut Schadenfreude.
‘To be honest,’ said Moyes, ‘I’d never even heard of the lad until I succeeded Sir Alex. Schadenfreude must be quite a player, though, because now his name is on everyone’s lips. As soon as we find out which club he’s playing for, we’ll be making a substantial offer.’
Brendan Rogers, manager of rivals Liverpool, said he took no pleasure in the travails of David Moyes and hoped that Schadenfreude would be a big part of the Manchester United set-up for many seasons to come.