Press to be regulated by Satan

In a bid to improve the moral standards of British newspapers, regulatory control is to be handed to Satan. This is said to be something of a ‘poacher turned gamekeeper’ role for the Evil One, who cut his journalistic teeth editing the Daily Mail before taking up malevolent acts full-time in the 1960s.

‘We wanted to make the Press accountable without sacrificing freedom of speech,’ David Cameron told a coven of journalists. ‘Beelzebub is the ideal candidate: his integrity is, well, it’s better than most journalists and he definitely knows when they’re lying. It was either him or Paul Dacre – who would you have chosen?’


Earlier plans for a Royal Charter were opposed by journalists on the grounds that it might have stopped them bugging the phones of dead children or making stuff up.

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2013 by

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