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Gypsies failed to take young Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson’s mother, Charlotte Johnson-Wood, has revealed that she once tried to swap her son for a bunch of clothes pegs with a ‘delightfully festive-looking gypsy’ who knocked at her door at a time when she was short of change.

‘She saw young Boris, with his shock of blonde hair, playing with an electric hairdryer and a bowl of soapy water I had left out for him,’ explained Mrs Johnson-Wood. ‘She grasped my arm in her bony fingers and begged me to exchange him for everything that she had, including her beautiful lace shawl and a mummified canary.’

However, Boris ran off into the woods where he lived for the next ten years, surviving on a diet of beefsteak mushrooms, acorns and roast hedgehog. DNA tests have confirmed that although Boris has links to several individuals he has none attached to anyone from a travelling background.

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Posted: Nov 1st, 2013 by Dick Everyman

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