‘Just imagine the plight of MPs who face the constant stress of job insecurity, with no guarantee of a sinecure when they are finally found out,’ said unfunnyman Lenny Henry, launching this year’s Red Face Day. ‘These people often have to trek through the commuter belt between their first and second homes, running the gauntlet of hostile natives.’
Monies raised will transform lives across Parliament and beyond, such as impoverished energy companies and hapless backbenchers struggling with their expense claims. Loveable mascot Pudsey the Bear-faced Liar will be sporting trademark patches over both eyes and cashmere ear-defenders to denote his concern for public opinion.
‘We simply cannot imagine how it is to live without a soul,’ she said fund-raiser for the disadvantaged Home Counties Briony Hampstead-Jones. ‘So just give us the fuckin’ money all right?’