Jon Veitch, a 43-year-old QA inspector from Kent, has beaten thousands of others to win Cock Drawing of the Year. Veitch’s simple, pencilled rendition of the male genitalia on 80 gsm plain white A4 paper won him plaudits from the judging panel, who hailed the iconic nature of the piece for its fluid lines and sparsely haired balls. Others have hailed the non-linear trajectory of the ejaculate, calling it a triumph for modern art.
‘Drawing a cock is about expressing your strength and confidence,’ Veitch said. ‘It’s about making your mark and and sticking two fingers up to feminism and authority. There’s no room in this game for namby-pambies.’ His speech was then suddenly cut short as he had to leave after receiving a call from his wife asking where he was and ordering him to return home immediately.