Louise Mensch explodes

Police sources in New York City have confirmed that Conservative commentator Louise Mensch exploded in a midtown Manhattan Restaurant 4pm yesterday, local time.

Attending the scene, Office Bernie Huckmeyer of the New York Police Department told a press conference ‘We believe that Miss Mensch was involved in an animated conversation about the English Guardian Newspaper, which turned into a tirade against Edward Snowden, which became a full-on rant about some guy called Alistair Campbell and then she apparently got started on her old Geography teacher at High School and went completely bat-poo insane.’

Officer Huckmeyer said that it was at this point that Miss Mensch’s eye’s began to ‘Glow pale purple and she was gradually enveloped in a cloud of pale green sulphurous smoke.’ Shortly after that, patrons at the Russian Tea Rooms on West 57th Street witnessed a ‘powerful localised blast’ as the former Tory MP spontaneously blew into several large fragments.

There were no injuries at the scene although a junior Fox executive sitting in a neighbouring booth was splattered with several large chunks of Miss Mensch’s viscera.


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Posted: Nov 5th, 2013 by

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