Berners-Lee: Don’t use the old internet, I’ve made a new one, opening Tuesday

a few glitches in the last one; all fixed now!

The man credited with inventing the internet has disowned what he calls ‘a first stab at it’ and urged people to wait till next week, to experience ‘a completely new much better one.’

‘I’ve got together with James Dyson on this one, and it’s a little cracker,’ he told ‘Which?’ magazine. ‘ I’m just putting the finishing touches to it and I reckon it’ll be done Wednesday, tops. I’m really sorry about the first one. If I’d known about the pornography, the spying, the destruction of the music industry and Louise Mensch, I wouldn’t have gone ahead.’

Berners Lee’s new internet will, he says, be easier and safer to use and available in more colours than the current version, which he says he will ‘switch off’ the week after next. Very few people know that when I invented the internet, I invented a little failsafe gizmo just underneath it so I could turn it off if it went wrong. Well it has. I just press control alt… wait a minute, I’d better not say. My advice is to back everything up. But not now.’

Meanwhile Microsoft have announced they are also launching Internet 2.0 which requires the replacement of every single computer, modem and router in the world and the complete global re-wiring of the entire communications network.  This will be followed soon after by the launch of Interent 2.1 to fix the bugs and make people feel vaguely paranoid about having to accept the terms and conditions.


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Posted: Nov 8th, 2013 by

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