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John Lewis Bear massacres cute woodland creatures

RSPCA & DEFRA staff have been called out after filming of a much anticipated department store Christmas advert went horribly wrong.

The bear featured in the advert pointed out: ‘When you’re enjoying the single most satisfying kip of the year, the last thing you need is some smartarse setting an alarm clock for the end of December! Of course I woke up with a sore head, and hey, I’m a bear! A basic knowledge of idioms should have made the likely consequences obvious.’

Speaking from his bed in Rolf’s Animal Hospital, the hare admitted: ‘With hindsight the alarm clock (product code 734 32301) wasn’t such a wise choice and I should have just gone with the electric overblanket (product code 868 10204) he’d been hinting at, but I wanted it to be a surprise.’

The RSPCA spokesman said all the animals involved will get veterinary treatment, at which point the DEFRA representative interjected; ‘Except the badgers, the bear did us a bit of a favour taking out those disease-ridden stripey bastards.’

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Posted: Nov 8th, 2013 by Guest

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