The Wombles were granted permission to hold a Remembrance Ceremony at the Cenotaph for the first time this year, provided it took place one day after the official event, and they were seen to make good use of the poppies left behind. At 11 am on Monday an elite cadre of furry litter pickers marched proudly down Whitehall to a military version of their famous signature tune, flanked by their mechanised division, the London Borough of Merton Dust Cart Regiment.
“People forget the contribution we made to two world wars,” said Brigadier General Uncle Bulgaria. ‘The blackout made life impossible for our recycling force, and it is entirely apt for us to remember our fallen. As a teenager during the blitz I was always falling over stuff on the common, because it was so dark.’
Members of the Trumpton Fire Brigade, who have been lobbying to take part in the parade for some years, objected in a letter to the Times that ‘largely mythical animals’ received preferential treatment over more human figments of the imaginatino. Signatories to the letter included Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Joanna Lumley.