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Man arrested for possession of misleading ‘Best Dad in the World’ mug

When father of three Jim Patterson turned up for work with a mug bearing the words “Best Dad In The world”, colleagues congratulated him on his achievement . A keyring with the same inscription followed. But all was not as it seemed.

Patterson was, in the words of  the Metropolitan Police “a serial fantasist with a shallow grip on reality”. A search of the Patterson home found several crude – almost childish – paintings with such labels as “Best dad ever” and “I love you Dad, you’re the best”.

All these claims were false. Mr Patterson has never been voted Best Dad In The World, and even failed to make the British finals following an unfortunate incident involving the wrong Barbie last Christmas.

Mr Patterson might have got away with the deception, but a sharp-eyed colleague checked the World Parenting Database and found that Mr Patterson wasn’t in the top 1,000 parents, and could never have qualified for the mug.

The Metropolitan Police urged members of the public to ‘remain vigilant’. Patterson’s had been a particularly egregious case that should be ‘a wake-up call’, said a spokesman. ‘Not only was he nowhere near the Best Dad in the World, but our investigations show that his children are teenagers – so he was actually a hot favourite for the regional finals of World’s Saddest Twat, it turns out.’

Deceangli

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Posted: Nov 13th, 2013 by Guest

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