TV racing pundit John McCririck has lost his case for unfair dismissal after failing to prove his former employers were “arseholeist”, it was confirmed yesterday. 75 year-old McCririck sought compensation after claiming IMG Media dropped him from Channel 4 racing coverage ‘because he was a complete and utter arsehole’.
McCririck argued this discriminated against all members of the arsehole community, but the tribunal rejected his case. The hearing found that ‘anyone in show business is probably somewhere on the arseholisitic spectrum, so the appellant must have been sacked for another reason. Being rubbish, perhaps?’
Asked to comment outside the tribunal, McCririck looked puzzled. ‘Arsehole? What the bloody hell’s that? No, no, no. no, I was just pissed off that I was replaced by that woman Balding! How did she make it out of the kitchen? Who’s going to make the cameramen sandwiches? Arf arf.’ At which point McCririck’s visibly horrified lawyer elbowed his way through the four person crowd and interjected ‘what my client means to say is that he’s sorely disappointed that his case can’t be used to help others who may find themselves in a similar situation in the future.’
A spokesperson from IMG Media stated: ‘we are pleased at this decision. We didn’t dismiss John because he was a complete and utter arsehole, we did it because he was just, well, too old. Wanting your presenters to look good on an HD TV isn’t a crime, is it? Is it?’