Operation Yewtree arrests 1200 year old timelord

The Metropolitan Police have confirmed today that they have arrested a 1200 year old man on suspicion of a number of offences over the past fifty years.

‘The suspect has been a master of disguise, changing his appearance several times over the past fifty years,’ confirmed a spokesman, ‘but we have finally tracked him down.’

It is believed that a particularly alluring young female constable with a slightly eccentric background and no immediate family to speak was approached by an elderly man wearing a trench-coat, bow tie and fez who offered her ‘The ride of her lifetime’ in a 1950s Police Box. ‘The old pervert was in possession of a bag of jelly babies and what appeared to be a specially adapted dildo that he referred to as a screw-driver at the time of his arrest’ confirmed the spokesman.

It is believed the suspect first came to the attention of officers some 50 years ago when local school teachers suspected something unusual with a girl who kept visiting a scrap yard to see her ‘grandfather’. Since then a number of complainants have come forward including a prehistoric cave woman, a teacher, an air hostess and a human Dalek named Sec.


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Posted: Nov 25th, 2013 by

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